A Broken Down Blog

PREFACE (CLAPTRAP THAT MAY OR MAY NOT BE WORTH READING)

As a former award-winning journalist (reporter, editor and other similar but meaningless titles), graphic designer and web designer, for years I have wanted to create a blog but didn't know what to write about.

Should I write about my brain being damaged by a virus, or many viruses, starting years ago? How could I write about my "broken brain" when three physicians, three nurse practitioners and an audiologist are clueless as to whether it was a virus, a brain tumor, a minor stroke or genetics that took most of the hearing in my right ear at the end of September 2009, just after I turned 47 years old?

THE NEW ACCORDION AUTO

How could I write about my "broken brain" when the damage may have come long before anyone but my mother, who said nothing at the time, noticed? Did I suffer a traumatic brain injury, as I was told 20 years later, in a car accident in which I was nearly killed, a car accident that caused permanent damage to parts of my spine, that turned my small car into an accordion, an accident from which I would completely recover, physicians and chiropractors told me?

Even after I had to deem myself recovered because I had no more money for treatment, were the strange and unusual, never-before-experienced "symptoms" from which I suffered since the accident in some way related to the accident? Was I damaged more than I wanted to believe? Why didn't wishing away the bizarre physical and mental "events" make them go away? Why didn't willing them away make them go away? Why did they only get worse?

I'D LIKE TO THANK THE ACADEMY

Furthermore, why didn't my immediate family, knowing I had nearly been killed, insist that I rest and recover rather than pushing myself to work and work and work? Was I so skilled at "acting" that from 1989 on, everyone believed that I was perfectly fine?

RAMBLING WO-MAN

So you see, I'm rambling. I wasn't a "rambler" for most of my life. I think it's a result of my broken down brain. In fact, my brain has broken in ways that I can't articulate or verbalize because I can't remember the majority of words I used to have at my fingertips. I feel like an infant or someone with Alzheimer's or Asperger's, with which I actually have been diagnosed. More than that, I simply feel stupid. Moronic. Idiotic. Ashamed of myself. When I was working at newspapers and magazines, I rarely had difficulty "knowing" what the right word to use was when it came to writing an article. My articles were concise, succinct, clear, logical, straightforward.

BORING INTO MY BRAIN

Now even the notes I write to myself are unintelligible, reflecting my unorganized, scattered thinking, my inability to focus. Even my handwriting changes from one note to the next as though I have multiple personality disorder. 'Who wrote that?' I wonder to myself. Then at some point in the night, perhaps days, weeks, months later, if ever, a tiny "spark" that has been boring into my brain suddenly penetrates a neuron and miraculously I recall that the handwriting was my own. By then, remembering what I couldn't before is pointless because I have forgotten the associated event, activity or idea.

So, what to write about? I hate to write a pointless blog, something that won't help anyone.

BROKEN EVERYTHING

Voila! While dealing with a broken brain and the associated "Is it me?" self-doubt, I have had years filled with unusually negative and costly experiences as a customer dealing with defective products, unresponsive and irresponsible companies and corporations, various and sundry boards, councils, state and local agencies, property management companies, physicians, other health care providers, insurance companies, the federal government, sales and "customer service" representatives and on and on and on.

In fact, I realized that it's not just my brain that's broken. It's the entire world. Thus, I will comment on all that's broken, trying to provide headers and subheads along the way so as not to waste readers' time. I will first state the facts in an objective manner prior to writing about my experience, which will include my opinion.

DISCLAIMER (WHICH SHOULD BE OBVIOUS)
I do want to add an obvious disclaimer that, unless otherwise stated, what I write here reflects solely my opinion and in no way represents the opinions or experiences of others. For whatever reason, my experiences with products, agencies, companies, individuals, etc., have for the most part been entirely negative and thus will never be exactly as another's. Unless otherwise stated, the opinions, views, conclusions and other claptrap posted here is not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, gender, sexual orientation or individual. My views are my own and do not in any way reflect the views of the site on which they are posted nor other sites affiliated with this site, site staff, subsidiaries, et al. No entity was harmed in the creation of this disclaimer. (Thank you in part to Writing.com for this disclaimer, which holds any and all entities harmless in the event of any and all liability. To find the disclaimer in its entirety, visit the link here: http://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/422035-Disclaimer